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Bits and Pieces from the NR Trivia Collection
#13: HQ Interface and R&D Interface

by Jens Kreutzer

Perhaps the two most basic multi-access cards for the Runner, R&D Interface and HQ Interface share a lot of features: Both are of course "Interfaces" and Hardware, have a similar ability and the same installation cost, but the most interesting bit about them is perhaps their card-spanning flavor text, which starts on R&D Interface and is continued on HQ Interface:

"I have a friend in Oaxaca who sells to Ops in Cuernavaca who supply a tech at Arasaka ... from Arasaka to Cuernavaca to Oaxaca - to me the gear does come."

Now, Oaxaca and Cuernavaca are cities in Mexico, while Arasaka is a ruthless corporation in the Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0. world (which was used as the background for Netrunner). But to understand the joke, you must know that this flavor text is a reference to a song by Tom Lehrer (born 1928), an American singer-songwriter who is famous for his satirical and humorous compositions. Mainly active during the 1950s and 60s, his songs have always been somewhat controversial. The following are the lyrics of the song Lobachevsky (from the album Tom Lehrer Revisited, 1959):

Lobachevsky

Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote?
Who's the professor that made me that way,
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
and Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize...
Only be sure always to call it please, "research".

And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same,
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write.
It was on Analytic and Algebraic Topology of Locally Euclidean Metrization of Infinitely Differentiable Riemannian Manifold.
Bozhe moi! This I know from nothing.
But I think of great Lobachevsky and I get idea - haha!

I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.

And when his work is done -
Haha! - begins the fun.
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!

And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I published first!

And who made me a big success
And brought me wealth and fame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

I am never forget the day my first book is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book, this book was sensational!
Pravda - ah, Pravda - Pravda said:
"Jeel beel kara ogoday blyum blocha jeli," ("It stinks").
But Izvestia! Izvestia said:
"Jai, do gudoo sun sai pere shcum," ("It stinks").
Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva bought the movie rights for six million rubles,
Changing title to "The Eternal Triangle",
With Brigitte Bardot playing part of hypotenuse.

And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!